Ah crap - it's October

Yeah, so much for that 'optimism' thing. Well actually I'm still optimistic, but woefully inadequate in delivery! HA! So I could sit here and dwell on my lack of writing, or I could move on. I choose - move on!

It's a rainy Sunday, I've finished work for the day, had a great nap and now am waiting for two girlfriends so we can go to a new Mexican restaurant we've found. Whoo hoo! Now THAT'S a great day. While I'm waiting, I'm reflecting... just one short year ago, things were so different in my life. So completely opposite of now in so many ways.

Last year (late summer/early fall) I was realizing that my job in a huge corporate just wasn't working for me anymore. My go-get-em-ness was lacking and I was no longer driven to produce bigger, better, faster and longer. I wanted to be home with family not alone in a hotel room at a days long conference. Not hob-nobbing with "idea leaders" - always watching words. Egad. And out of nowhere came an opportunity to turn my life around - to do something completely and totally different. To go to work for my church. To make a long story a little shorter - I was laid off from corporate America and received the job offer a few days later (on my 40th birthday) - tell me it wasn't meant to be!

It certainly was a decision that seemed easy to make from a job satisfaction point. Hmm, the chance to work at a place that had made a HUGE difference in my spiritual, emotional and relationship life. Yes! The monetary front took a leap of faith - but I prayed and felt sure. Finally there was the role the Nursery-Two Coordinator. Yep, that's referring to ages. Keep in mind that I had been volunteering with the 5th and 6th graders for over 5 years. I knew those ages, understood how to relate. But the itty-bitties? Hmm... well I'll try. So my family and I took the plunge. I didn't know what to expect, but I was going to be obedient.

Turns out, this job is PERFECT for me at this point in my life. You see, I'm not really working with the kids at all. I'm really there for the hundreds of volunteers who work with those ages. I spend my days honoring, loving and caring for people who give up their time to watch others kids. Seriously - my job is loving people. It's incredible how fulfilling that is for me. To spend time learning others' stories, hugging them when they hurt, smiling when things are going well and building into them as they grow spiritually. My days are full and so is my heart.

One year ago, my heart ached for community. For close girlfriends in the same town. I have some FABULOUS friends but they all live far away. (Hey - when you meet in Atlanta in your 20s - realistically, some, if not all, of you will get married and move elsewhere.) Through this job (and listening when God prompted me to talk to someone) - I have met some incredible women here in Cincinnati and have been challenged, pushed, grown and loved on myself. They are here for me physically for hugs as well as over the phone. This job introduced me to people I may never have met otherwise. Again, my days are full and so is my heart.

I no longer struggle with stomach problems from stress, I laugh often and hug much. How God has blessed me - how grateful is my heart.

Here goes something...

So at the tender age of 40, I'm realizing some interesting things. Not the least of which is how sometimes we can lose track of the things that were big parts of our lives in the past. Now sometimes that's okay. After all, we don't really want to party as hard as college or live on spaghetti with butter and some fake Parmesan cheese until the next check comes -right? No, I'm talking about some of the passions we had - in my case, playing piano, singing, writing and acting. Hmm. Where has the time gone since I last did some of those? Okay, time to reclaim some of them! (This is inspired by my hubby who has started archery again and is pretty darn good at it!)

First step... I tried playing my piano the other day and, well, um... it wasn't pretty. Oh sure, I'm out of practice, but seriously, when you look at your hands and realize THEY are right but the notes aren't - you know you need a piano tuner -- stat. And that's $100 that's just not going to go out the door right now.

Second step... really debating trying out for a musical again. My last one was when Gretchen was just two years old (she's now eight). I received an audition notice from a friend from that show who was directing. It was SO tempting. However, the reality of a show is 3-4 rehearsals a week for two-three months. As a remarried mom, that's missing a good deal of time with my daughter and stepson. And when they are this young, that's hard. The musicals can wait a bit.

That leaves writing. And truthfully, I've been contemplating a blog for a while. Then out of nowhere, I woke up one evening with "Sunny Side Up" in my brain. And it wouldn't dislodge. So I'm obeying that thought and naming my blog attempt after it. We'll see where it goes - or if I ever tell anyone about it. (smile)

In the meantime, it's kind of fun to write something spontaneously and see where it goes. In my job I write some fun emails and a few lessons for the two-year-olds, but this one is just for me. And the name is really "me" too - since I'm often described as perky, spunky, energetic or just "a light" to be around. That last one makes me smile. I DO see the bright side of things because as my daughter says, "That's just how God made me."

In that vein, the title of this post. Because no self-respecting optimist would EVER write "here goes nothing"!